Skip to main content

My Kid Was Bullied and It's All MY Fault

My middle kid motioned for me to come into the building.  I couldn't imagine why.  He ran to the car saying "Mom, it's important.  Come here."  I quickly put on my shoes and raced inside to find my oldest son being consoled by a group of women and a group of young men being ushered out the building.

My son was calm and I could tell he wasn't physically injured.   Yet, I could see he was visibly shaken.

"What happened", I asked looking around.  

One of the ladies explained a group of boys had been taunting my son and he retaliated. Another lady explained some of the kids said he had asked them to stop but this one kept at it and my son finally turned around and punched him.  He had had enough.

I feel terrible because a few weeks earlier my kid told me he really didn't want to go back to this program.  He told me some of other kids were making jokes at some of the mentors and class leaders.  Some kids were calling them names saying "I wish this big, fat 'b' would shut the h*ll up", talking during the workshops, swearing and cursing.  I spoke with the program director and felt she understood my concerns.  I told my kid to ignore the other kids and just keep moving forward in the program.  A week or so later, my kid told me these kids were just rude and ornery towards some of the other kids.  He really wanted to quit the program and again I phoned the program director.  We had a nice discussion about the challenges of learning to work with different personalities.  Again, I talked to my kids and decided to stay in the program.

Teasing, taunting, provoking others to get a rise thinking they won't respond is cruel. Some say it's just kids being kids but I beg to differ.  The effects of bullying affect a person physically and mentally.  For some the effects result in suicide, injury and death. 

A "2014–2015 School Crime Supplement survey (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) indicated that, nationwide, about 21% of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying."  

https://www.stopbullying.gov/image-gallery/what-you-need-to-know-infographic.html
Courtesy of StopBullying.gov
Over and over my kids told me and over and over I listened but encouraged them to look past the actions of others.  In retrospect, that was so stupid of me. 

My kid did everything he was supposed to do.  He told me what was happening.  Reporting the incident to adults is the first thing kids can do to stop bullying.  Teach your kids to
TELL SOMEONE
If no one knows you are being bullied then no one can help you.  So encourage your kids to a teacher, tell a counselor, tell someone if they are being bullied.  

Parents, teachers and community leaders, we need to be educated about what to do when bullying is reported.  I thought I was doing the right thing by talking to my kid about it and speaking with the program director but I should have done more.  Talking to the program director didn't quell the frustration that was building up in my kid nor did It do anything to keep the other kid from his rude behavior.  Teaching kids to look past the actions of others because that's the way of the world isn't the right thing to do. 
We must empower our children and teach them conflict management.  We must teach our kids to respect others.  We as adults must teach our kids to protect themselves.  

I am sorry my kid responded the way he did but I am proud he stood up for himself.  I hope this will be a lesson for both the kids.

For tips on how to prevent bullying and what we as parents should know about bullying, visit https://www.stopbullying.gov.

What about you?  Has your child ever been bullied?  What did you do? 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

$25 Paypal Cash Rain Rain Go Away! Giveaway Hop

I am so excited to be a part of the Rain Rain Go Away Giveaway Hop hosted byThe Kids Did It and The Mommy Island Here's your chance to win $25 Paypal cash from Three Boys and an Old Lady blog + enter more than 100 other fab blog giveaways.

Giveaway runs from April 5 - 19
Be sure to visit daily and enter the secret code word to earn extra entries.

Click HERE for today's Secret Word
* * * G I V E A W A Y * * * Entry-Form  








Life's a Beach Giveaway Hop! Win a $15 Amazon Gift Card

To celebrate Spring Break and all the joys of Spring, Three Boys and an Old Lady blog has joined over 100 blogs in the Life is a Beach Giveaway Hop sponsored by The Kids Did It and The Mommy Island.

We have had torrential Spring rains and I am so looking forward to drier days when Hubby, the kids and I can kick back and relax at the beach.  Come on Sunshine, shine our way!

What about you?  Does the beach draw you in with the soothing sound of the waves rushing up to the shore? 

What's the one thing you take with you to the beach?  Is it that favorite beach towel?  Those chic sunglasses?  Sunscreen?  Fave book?  Beach chair?  Let me know and be entered to win a $15 Amazon gift card.

Good luck


Entry-Form













Jeepers It's January! Giveaway Hop and Your Chance to Win a $10 Amazon Gift Card

Can you believe it's January already?  Well, bundle up beloveds and get ready for a new year of giveaways kicking off with the Jeepers It's January! Giveaway Hop hosted by The Mommy Island and The Kids Did It.  To celebrate the blustering cold month of January Three Boys and an Old Lady blog is giving away a $10 Amazon gift card to one lucky blog reader.  Perhaps, you'll use your gift card to purchase a scarf to keep your warm and toasty.  Or maybe a few pairs of fuzzy socks to keep your tootsies warm.  Or even stock up on some hot cocoa for you and the kiddos.  No matter.  It's your choice to spend as you will. This easy entry giveaway is open to residents of the United States, Canada and abroad and will end at the stroke of midnight on January 31. Oh, be sure to check out the other 100+ giveaways and good luck! Entry-Form 








For Blogs hosted on Wordpress.com blogs that DOES NOT allow javascript: