May 10, 2017

Dear Mama, Thank YOU #BehindTheBlogger

Dear Mama,

I don't know if I say it enough but "thank you".  Thank you for always being there for me and always believing in me helping to shape me into the person I am becoming.

You often say you always wanted to grow up and be a mom.  Well, as the mom of three and known as "Momma" to tons of others, I think it's safe to say you have succeeded in that. 

I am reminded this Mother's Day that I am the same age you were when you became a grandma.  As I embark on the latest adventure of my kids' lives I can't help but think of how you must have felt to see your baby girl become a mom.  You see I too always wanted to grow up and be a mom but my journey was filled with difficulties.  When I lost faith in God and medicine, you were there to encourage me.  I had long accepted that I would never know the joys of motherhood, however, you weren't so quick to accept such.  
Remember that day we left the Fertility Clinic after hearing my fertility specialist say no viable eggs were found.  We walked outside and you gently grabbed my hand as tears streamed down my face and whispered "Those doctors don't know what they're talking about."  Even before I could say anything to the contrary you said "Nah, they have no idea."

It was as if you spoke life into my body.  Gradually over the course of the next few weeks I became violently ill.  I could barely keep any food down.  I was losing weight. I was sick all the time.  Remember that doctor's visit where the new resident said "I think you're pregnant" and I told her there was "no way" and she said "Humor me, take a pregnancy test."  I obliged and the very next day you and I were working away at Parc Central when the phone rang to tell me I was either "really pregnant and due any day or it was more than one."  Do you remember that Mom?

Remember how I dropped the phone in disbelief and you rushed to my side to pick up the phone as I screamed in excitement? 

Remember how you had to call my hubby to share the news because I couldn't manage to form words?

Mom, I can never thank you enough but let me channel my inner Tupac by saying I'll never forget "when I was low you were there for me, never left me alone because you cared for are appreciated."

Love always,

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